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Saturday, October 19, 2013

Let us examine the difference between love, dating, romance & marriage. -----------------------------------------------------


ROMANCE
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Romance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Besides, the concept of love in Islam is very unique, when a Muslim loves something or somebody, it must be for the sake of Allah; the same applies to hatred.
The romantic notions that occupy the mind of young people often have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the West to understand this point.
To give an example, the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on.
Yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not result in an everlasting bond between two people.
In most cases, romance and love die out very quickly when couple find themselves with the real world. The unrealistic expectation that young people have is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship.

DATING
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One of our current scholars told us, "Dating prepares us - NOT for marriage, but for DIVORCE.
After being "involved" with a person for a time, and then breaking up and going through the feelings of remorse or loneliness and unhappiness, and then moving on to the next "relationship" and then another break-up, hard feelings, sadness and then yet another series of dating, hanging out, breaking up and so on.
Definitely married couples who have been in "relationships" prior to marriage, falling in love, arguing, breaking up and then going through the sad feelings and repeating this over and over, are much more likely to end up in a very rough marriage and very possible divorce.
There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam.

MARRIAGE
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Islam teaches us that marriage is the finest, purest and permissible relationship that should exist between a male and female; it should be the goal that they both have in mind.
Marriage is so serious and so important that it is clearly defined in the Quran and in the teachings of Islam by the prophet, peace be upon him.
You may be surprised to learn the subject of Divorce - is also mentioned and dealt with in very clear terms, to insure that it does not happen except with due consideration and proper representation and insurance of rights for both parties.
Quran offers many references concerning rights and limits in marriage, love and divorce. There is even an entire surah (chapter) named Al Talaq (The Divorce).
Marriage in Islam is a beautiful way for two people to bring together their families, heritage and culture for the purpose of bringing more little Muslims into the world, in love, commitment and dedication to Allah, His Book, His prophet, peace be upon him, and surrender to Him in peace (Islam).

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