The Prophet,
peace and blessings be upon him, says:
"Three
qualities, if found in a person, will help him have perfect faith: Having Allah
and His Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, as the most beloved ones,
loving a person only for the sake of Allah and hating getting back to Kufr
(disbelief) the way one hates to be thrown into fire."
That means
love is a fruit of piety. Love without piety is mischief.
There is no
concept of courtship in Islam as it is practiced in the West. There is no
dating or living in de facto relationship or trying each other out before
committing to each other. There is to be no physical relationship whatsoever
before marriage.
From an
Islamic perspective, in choosing a partner, the most important factor that
should be taken into consideration is Taqwa (piety and consciousness of Allah).
The Prophet,
peace and blessings be upon him, recommended the suitors to see each other
before going through with marriage procedures.
That is very
important because it is unreasonable for two people to be thrown into marriage
and be expected to have a successful marital life, full of love and affection,
when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each
other.
This ruling
does not contradict the Qur'anic verse that says, “…believing men and women
should lower their gaze” (An-Nur: 30). The couple, however, are not permitted
to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the Hadith says:
"When a man and a woman are together alone, the Shaytan (Satan) makes
their third."
One of the
conditions of a valid marriage is the consent of the couple. Marriage by
definition is a voluntary union of two people.
The choice of
a partner by a Muslim virgin girl is subject to the approval of the father or
guardian. This is to safeguard her welfare and interests. The Prophet, peace
and blessings be upon him, said: "The widow and the divorced woman shall
not be married until she has consented to that and the virgin shall not be
married until her consent is sought."
The Prophet
did nullify the marriage of a girl who complained to him that her father had
married her against her wishes.
Though love
is something nice, and it is recommended for a man to marry a woman whom he
loves, because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih
Al-Jami`, 5200)
However, this
love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics
which he should look for in the person he wants to marry.
The most
important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet, peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him, said:
“A woman may
be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her
commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be
rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Agreed-upon Hadith).
Dear friends
in Islam, we hope that the main points of the issue have become clear. Now,
let’s assume that you are the person mentioned in your question:
On what basis
would you like to choose your partner? Wouldn’t you look to her commitment to
Islam – does she pray regularly, for example? Does she adhere to the Islamic
Hijab prescribed by Shari'ah?
If the lady
you want to marry is religious, of good manners, and obeys Allah and His
Messenger, and both of you want to please Allah in this world in order to earn
reward in the Hereafter, then you have made a perfect choice, and we all ask
Allah to fulfill your hopes and bring you together in a good way. If she is
not, then you should reconsider your choice. May Allah help you to do what He
loves and what pleases Him!
Good morning how are you?
ReplyDeleteMy name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys traveling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because trough them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately it’s impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this I would ask you one small favor:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Bangladesh? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Bangladesh in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Avenida Juan de la Cierva, 44
28902 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez